places i have recently spit

Ok, this is REALLY disgusting, but part of (my) pregnancy is an interesting yet not-recommended thing called “ptyalism,” (pronounced tile-ism) which basically means that your salivary glands kick into high gear, and you do a lot of spitting. I spit into the toilet, the sink, onto the ground, or if driving, into a bottle.

Since I am not always certain when it’s going to come on, I’ve spat in some inappropriate places, lately. Here’s a little list.

1. on my foot (while biking, it’s sometimes hard to get good aim)
2. on my shirt (uh, it just happened. i don’t know)
3. on the subway platform (in a way that I would be SO judgmental of others for doing — perhaps ptaylism will teach me . . . ptolerance!)
4. on the inside of my own car, while driving, after missing the window hole.
5. in the bathtub, while I was in it, trying to bathe, but my mouth filled up with spit i could not swallow. don’t worry, i showered after my spit bath.
6. on a low flying bird who was rounding a corner just as I was planning to. i wonder whether it was embarrased, or will consider it good luck?

What helps? Potato chips, say some. I like minty Mentos. I also like staying at home, which makes this slightly less horrifying.