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Regarding the Zoaster (patent pending)

March 6, 2010

Months ago, I had a brilliant and vivid dream.

I dreamt of a device called the “Zoaster.” The gist is: take a raw chicken, and rub olive oil into the skin, then place it into a cardboard shoebox. Dust it with seasoned breadcrumbs. Dust might actually be the wrong verb: put a whole bunch of breadcrumbs into that shoebox. Put the shoebox into the back of your El Camino-style vehicle, and then drive along the roads of the Italian highway system. Periodically, you’ll come to a row of toll booths. When in zoasting mode, choose the lane to the far right. Pull the car in, and slow way down, enough so that the booth’s zoasting elements have a chance to take effect. Resume driving normally towards your destination.

And after you have passed through 3 or 4 of these toll slash chicken-cooking booths, the chicken will have been zoasted to perfection, and you have a delicious picnic when you arrive at the sunny and sparkling blue Italian seaside.

It’s the simple things, isn’t it.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. March 6, 2010 1:15 pm

    Next time you see David, ask him about the Fluve (floo-vay)! It is an editing device that he dreamt about.

  2. Axuve Espinosa permalink
    March 6, 2010 10:35 pm

    That’s Vernaza! One of the best places I’ve ever been to.

  3. March 8, 2010 5:12 pm

    I want a zoaster!

  4. secret admirer permalink
    March 9, 2010 9:22 am

    Only the Italians would come up with a system like this–or rather, only the Italians deserve a dream about such a device! (It’s also another good reason to bring back the El Camino.)

  5. March 11, 2010 11:32 am

    You know, I’ve been seeing more El Caminos recently. I thought maybe they were just driving through from Mexico but now I think it might have something to do with all the new “toll roads” they’re building around here. People are Zoasting in Texas!

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