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Holiday! And God Sighting?

May 28, 2010

1. Did you hear? It’s a holiday today — it’s “tell someone else about my blog if you like it,” day! So, go forth and multiply, readers! Speaking of which:

2. This morning, while pushing Henry’s stroller down the street, someone with very fluffy and unruly long white hair, who was being helped along by a female with more controlled, slightly darker hair, commanded to his companion, SAY HI TO THE BABY.

And then they both said hi to the baby, and then the man stopped and looked me in the eye and raised an eyebrow and asked “NO ‘TOONS?” Or, I was thinking, perhaps he meant the homonym: “NO TUNES?”

I considered about both possibilities and couldn’t come up with any answers.

To get some clarification, I said, “Excuse me?”

Not the “you are rude and I will ironically call it to your attention by excusing myself” version.

Not the Steve Martin version from the ’70s that my dad really likes.

Nor was it the very genuine “I sneezed and though I made a valiant effort to turn my head and get my inner elbow to absorb it, I am uncertain of the consequences and truly hope I didn’t douse you with spit or mucous.” (That is the one I probably I use the most.)

Or the, “I am touching your butt but the subway car is so crowded that I couldn’t help it.” That’s popular, too.

Instead, it was the most rarely employed version: the genuine-respect-for-elders one. Because suddenly this person, with the crazy white hair and the oldness and the commands and his desire to connect with a stranger, looked like someone’s rendition of God. Maybe like Jeffrey Tambor’s rendition from the “Arrested Development” episode when he plays God in the painting. Still: Godlike.

When the man on the street restated his question with correct pronunciation, I heard it more clearly. What he said was “NO TWINS?”

That made me sort of nervous. Did he know something about my future, and know that it is thick with twins? We’d just seen some twins at the playground, and that seemed . . . hard.

Hopefully he was just a cheerful neighborhood guy with a bad hair day who likes to tease women 60 years his junior.

Okay guys, that’s all for number 2. Don’t forget about 1.! And have a great holiday weekend!


One Comment leave one →
  1. May 30, 2010 4:52 pm

    Hmm. Before I had kids, I really wanted twins. Now that I have 3 separately-aged children, I think that women with twins are super-human.

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