Lettuce
Top five things I hate about lettuce:
1. washing it
2. drying it
3. when someone else hasn’t dried it and so it is wet; I find this to be barbaric and ruinous to my potentially considerable enjoyment of a salad
4. when the pieces aren’t small enough to eat without cutting (I don’t mind making it small enough myself)
5. when someone doesn’t believe that it doesn’t have to be washed even if it’s in an expensive box and has been triple-washed, because, see 1.
Top six things I love about lettuce:
1. I really love the cool, acidic accompaniment that it makes to dinner; I like to have salad with every single dinner.
2. I even like a handful of greens with my food if it is not dressed.
3. I like iceberg when it’s on tacos, because of the crunch.
4. I like arugula because it’s a crucifer, which is both
a. healthy and
b. an excellent word.
5. I love the herbed blend that comes in a box and tastes like dill and cilantro, even though it is expensive.
6. I love that you can get romaine subbed in for iceberg a pizza restaurants.
Church Avenue Chomp 
I guess when we finally move back to the States and invite you for dinner I won’t tell you that I just peel the outer leaves off and then serve. If someone like you made a salad for me every meal I would be so happy. Instead, someone like me (me, actually) hates making salad and her family eats chopped iceberg all the time because she is so resentful of the cleaning/drying process.
You’ve got to get a salad spinner. It will change your life as far as washing lettuce goes!
I have lots of trouble with Frisee. Impossible to get in your mouth unless it is cut up, which no one ever does, and it looks like it might cut you if you are not careful. Nasty business.
Not to get on the wrong side of this one, but does the expensive box lettuce really need to be washed? I thought that was the whole point of the expensive box, no washing.
my husband and i regularly argue about the size of the lettuce pieces and the cucumber pieces in our salads.