Dear Counselor Chomp: Fashion Advice

The advice column run every two weeks, or otherwise at my whim.

Dear Counselor Chomp,

I am planning to attend my college reunion in June. I won’t tell you which one, but since these events are generally held every five or ten years, I probably won’t be going to a lot more! The main event is a luncheon. I really want to wear a new dress. I have spent hours scrolling through hundreds of dresses on the Internet.

When I attended college it was all women,  so you know that everyone is going to be looking at everyone else and thinking about how they have changed. I am sure you can imagine the side conversations!

After weeks of searching, I finally found a simple dress with cap sleeves—all the rest seemed to be sleeveless. It fits nicely and is comfortable, but it is black! When I asked my husband if it would be ok to wear it, he, the fashion consultant, said “definitely not in June.”

I still have the tags on the dress!

Confused in Chicago

Dear Confused,

Finally, I get to be the arbiter of taste!

Let’s review the facts.

You have a party with people you haven’t seen in years. You don’t want to be laughed at. Rather, you’d like to crush their spirits with your evergreen beauty. What should you wear to accomplish this?

You should wear . . .

drumroll . . .

confidence.

You probably know what suits you and what doesn’t, and selected this dress because it inspires confidence in you.

Your sense of self will have solidified since graduation, even if your arms have moved toward a more liquid state of matter, as seems to be the wont of all arms over time. But my sense is that if you are largely looking at sleeveless dresses, that you’re probably doing better than just about anyone save Madonna and Obama.

So, consider it just one more time. If wearing a dark dress in June is a problem for you—and we are talking about you, rather than anyone else—then would you feel better adding a scarf or some brightly colored shoes or even some Lady Gaga makeup to color it up? (Look! I’ve linked to a helpful tutorial, and you too can have huge, bubbly, crazy-person eyes!)

Once you decide what you are going to do, never second-guess your decision.

As for your husband, husbands are notorious for being opinionated when consulted — they have to say something when asked a direct question, don’t they? But if he’s anything like mine, I’ll bet that if you put the dress on at the reunion, he’ll look at you once in the light of the moment, have no idea that he’s ever seen it before, and tell you that you look lovely.

And if you believe him, then you certainly will.

Have fun!

To get your question answered by Counselor Chomp, email it to churchchomp at gmail dot com.